The Motion of the Ocean

This is a brilliant, delightful read about newlyweds who decide to follow their wildest dreams, take a couple of years off from work, and sail to foreign ports on their honeymoon. It is a moving memoir that reads like a work of fiction. Although it is an adventure story about sailing, the heart of the story is about love and marriage; the passion as well as the doubts that live within any relationship. Janna Cawrse's writing style is clear and unhindered as she allows the reader a glimpse into her innermost thoughts, inspiring introspection and reflection, not just on relationships, but also on the cultural differences of the people they encounter along the way.

The book has both humorous and poignant moments, as one might expect; this couple is living at sea in close quarters for an extended period on a seaworthy but not entirely trustworthy boat, which poses its own challenges. In summary, a perfect beach read; light and entertaining, but also great for anyone who longs to take an adventure like this. It is also great for anyone who enjoys reading about relationships, as this is the true strength of the story.

Choosing a mate is like picking house paint from one of those tiny color squares: you never know how it will look across a large expanse, or how it will change in different light.

Meet Janna and Graeme. After a decade long tango (together, apart, together, apart), they are back in love - but the stress of nine to five is seriously hampering their happiness. So they quit their jobs, tie the knot, and untie the lines on a beat up old sailboat for a most unusual honeymoon: a two year voyage across the Pacific. But passage from first date to first mate is anything but smooth sailing. From the rugged Pacific Northwest coast to the blue lagoons of Polynesia to bustling Asian ports, Janna and Graeme find themselves at the mercy of poachers, under the spell of crossdressers, and under the gun of a less than sober tattooist. And they encounter do or die moments that threaten their safety, their sanity, and their marriage.

Join their 17,000 mile journey and their quest to resolve the uncertainties so many couples face: how do you know if you have really found the One? How do you balance duty to others while preserving space for yourself? And, when the waters get rough, do you jump ship, or do you learn to navigate the world . . . together?

1. The book opens with the author thinking her husband is an asshole, but after they survive a small calamity together, she says she has never felt so in love. When have you experienced this sort of flip flop of emotions about a loved one? Throughout the story, how does Janna reveal both the positive and negative aspects of marriage? Of her husband? Of herself?

2. When looking at the mint color in her foyer, Janna says, "those little color squares are cruel jokes; they trick you into thinking you know what you are getting when really you never can tell." Is this an apt metaphor for choosing a life partner? Why or why not? What can prepare us to make this decision? How does one choose the One?

3. Throughout the book Janna finds it difficult to be on time or do tasks in a timely manner - she is a "Pokey Person." Graeme is "one of those super efficient so called humans who gets twice as much done in half as much time." What are the pluses and minuses of these approaches to time? What kind of person are you, and how does this affect your relationships?

4. The pink and blue division of labor challenges Janna's sense of worth aboard Dragonfly and raises questions about her new role as wife. How do the pink and blue play out in your life? Do these divisions impact your sense of worth as they did Janna's, or do you identify more with her cruising girlfriends?

5. At the outset of their trip, Janna wonders if marriage is about agreeing to drink only from the relationship's cup and being satisfied with whatever it offers. By the end, she argues that couples need otherness to thrive in togetherness. Do you agree? Why or why not? How can a couple build otherness while staying close and committed?

6. What does Janna mean by "It is the space between, the getting from point A to point B, that terrifies and teaches us the most"? How is this shown in their literal and figurative crossings? Identify some of your own crossings and how you met the challenge of the space between.

7. Back home in Seattle, Janna says what matters is "not the what but the how" - that one can have an extraordinary existence no matter how ordinary life appears. Do you agree? What is your own big, hairy, audacious goal, and how might you pursue it?

8. On passage, Janna notes "there is a monotony in marriage that is equally delightful and dangerous." What does she mean? Which moments at sea were dangerous or delightful for the couple? How can attentiveness during monotony change daily life?

9. In French Polynesia, Janna and Graeme "mark the passage" with tattoos. How does this help them make sense of the crossing and their first year of marriage? What ceremonies help you mark passages in your life?

10. The couple often holds completely different views of the same event. How do these diverging perspectives strain or enhance their relationship? When have you realized you were not on the same wavelength as someone else, and what did you take away?

11. Janna sees their voyage as a test of boat, seamanship, and relationship. Would Graeme agree? If it is a test, how would you evaluate their success?

12. Discuss the pros and cons of Janna's notion of the One, Graeme's anti One thesis, and Frits's Green Box Theory of Love. Which aligns with your view, and why?

This author does an excellent job of opening her life up to the reader. This book is about facing challenges and not being afraid to express doubts. It is about the author's personal journey to becoming a wife and being part of a couple, as well as her sailing journey from Seattle to Hong Kong. Reading about their adventures at sea is interesting, but the book's strength is in the relationships and the author's ability to draw the reader into this couple's marriage.